


Fae Corp AU Convo

by BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount, writingforFUNandbecauseBoredom



Series: Listen I Just Love This Idiot Ink Boi [6]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: AU talk, Bookwyrm conversations, Fae Corp Au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-20
Updated: 2020-06-20
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:14:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24818944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount/pseuds/BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount, https://archiveofourown.org/users/writingforFUNandbecauseBoredom/pseuds/writingforFUNandbecauseBoredom
Summary: So this is a conversation that happened in Chapter 14 of that one fic.nevermind everything is here, this is the whole story yip yip
Relationships: Dream/Cross/Nightmare, Error/Ink, Killer/Lust, PJ/Omni
Series: Listen I Just Love This Idiot Ink Boi [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1717414
Comments: 49
Kudos: 41





	Fae Corp AU Convo

**Author's Note:**

  * For [BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount/gifts).
  * Inspired by [In Which We Give This Empty Can Some Motherly Instincts And Not Yeet Him](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23900254) by [writingforFUNandbecauseBoredom](https://archiveofourown.org/users/writingforFUNandbecauseBoredom/pseuds/writingforFUNandbecauseBoredom). 



writingforFUNandbecauseBoredom:

this just makes me think of like, a modern fae society au, but the fae are in hiding. Ink and Error are the King and Queen of the Fae Court, Reaper and Life are outliers in the sense that the part they play are out of both Fae and Human jurisdiction, though the Fae sometimes collabarate with them on certain matters, like, when a goblin is bought back from the dead there are some magical issues to deal with regarding their place in the world, so both Life and Death get called over for that.

Also, Life and Ink collaborate on certain creations, while Error and Reaper meet together when it comes to the existence of certain beings. I will elobarate on that later if i remember.

Chronicle and Time Kid are part of the fae court that keeps records of times and stuff. If one wants to go to the past and change something, they're the ones they need to talk to basically. Chronicle is tasked with keeping track of timelines and recording them, while Time Kid is tasked with keeping the order of those timelines. When one is sent back to time travel, restrictions are placed on them as to prevent the change they want to make from having major impact.

Abyss Gaster is part of the court as the one that keeps the records of the beings Error completely Destroys out of existence, but is decided by the Court as a whole that being could prove useful if bought back for certain situation.

Dream and Nightmare both came into existence when Ink and Life worked together on the universe. They were unnoticed and therefore weren't bought to be part of the Fae Court until much later. Dream and Nightmare were at first both raised by mortals for, idk 500 years.

Ink treats them both like children, and they are compared to the being of literal Existence itself, and had teached both Dream and Nightmare alongside with Error their places in the Fae Court, their responsibilities regarding their relation to mortals etc.

Dream and Respite often get along on the bases that they both hate it when they see mortals in pain.

Cross is half fae. XGaster was banished by the Fae Court because he stole and attempted to create his own world along with his own court, a crime that caused disbalance throughout the Universe Ink, Error, Life and Reaper worked so hard on. XChara and XFrisk were not banished and are in charge of helping Life and Reaper. They have a cottage in the mortal world, are both gay and married, and decided to adopt Cross. They're the first wizards. Gay wizards with their adopted gay half fae son.

\---------------------------------------

BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount:

dude, thats crazy. and error is just half upset at ink that he has to clean up Ink's pet project most of the time. like INK you said you would take care of your pet, i didn't agree to clean up after them! but he does anyway because he can't stand the mess. Life and death are outsourced. omg

\---------------------------------------

writingforFUNandbecauseBoredom:

i am dying.

Outertale also plays a role in the court, but as messengers between the fae and the mortal.

Basically. They sort of came after Existence and Destruction (ink and error). Everything dies at some point, so Life and Death are the ones who deal with what comes after someone dies.

The Errink children themselves sometimes play around with mortals and faes, but aren't allowed to disrupt balance.

Cross is sometimes treated warily by Abyss Gaster, who is keeping XGaster imprisoned. Cross doesn't exactly become aware of the supernatural until adult years because both of his dads decide to keep it that way in order to further protect him from the influences of his biological father.

Then he ends up meeting Dream and Nightmare.

\---------------------------------------

BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount:

Outertale is customer service. Destruction is in charge of budget and internal affairs. Existence is marketing and External affairs. Life and death are outsourced so things can get done, mortals are continuously dying and being born and reborn. dream and nightmare end up as company mascots.

\---------------------------------------

writingforFUNandbecauseBoredom:

i will forever cherish this summary from the bottom of my heart.

\---------------------------------------

BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount:

Cross gets to be a coffee intern that hops between departments

Existence is the visionary and Destruction makes it work. destruction is just very harried and just waiting for everything to fall apart because Existence thought of another law of physics that he wants to add even though they already have the universe up and running. Destruction is totally the mom tho.

CorporateFaeVerse

PJ IS A YACHT KID

\---------------------------------------

writingforFUNandbecauseBoredom:

Bless. He didn't ask for the job but then one thing led to another and he ended up accidentally bounded to both Dream and Nightmare. XChara and XFrisk had screamed at him for somehow getting magically married to BOTH twins. The incident gets kept underwraps as much as possible, but neither Nightmare nor Dream want to let go of him, so he ends up disguising himself as their in between errand boy of sorts.

The Outers get suspicious of this arrangement, but don't question their boss's business. The rest of Fae inhabitants like to gossip between each other though.

He is. Destruction is responsible one around here. on the other hand, it gives him something to do.

Both Existence and Destruction can get bored easily. Eternal beings and all. Destruction would have gotten bored and concerned if Existence stopped adding on. Also, he finds how Existence went about bringing Nightmare and Dream to get along amusing, even though there were a lot of risks involved and he smacked Existence for the messy chaos the half fae bought.

skskskskskssk mortals sometimes wonder if he ever leaves the Yacht. He do, but not when they're looking.

\---------------------------------------

BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount:

god i love this. just omg it is great so funny

\---------------------------------------

writingforFUNandbecauseBoredom:

Epic and Blue sans are the only mortal friends he has.

When Dream and Nightmare decide they want to meet Cross's friends despite Cross's own nervousness.

Epic: *whispering to Cross*Bro, bro, which one of them are you dating?

Dream: *happily nearly glowing in his mortal form* He's our fiance actually!

Cross: *nearly dies*

There are also Killer, Horror and Dust he has as friends.

Nightmare immediately likes them more than Blue and Epic.

Killer: Cross. Cross. You didn't invite me to the ceremony. What the fuck? You better invite me to the wedding!!!

\---------------------------------------

BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount:

poor cross. wait til the mortal friends totally learn of cross's fae connections. Destruction litterally just wants some chocolate and then he will deal with the kids (to him) bringing mortals into the FaeCorp (get it? Fae Corp, Fae Court)

\---------------------------------------

writingforFUNandbecauseBoredom:

At some point both Ink and Error talk to Cross about his position.

Destruction: "You understand that you're currently the bride of both Dream and Nightmare. That means you have been chosen with the responsibility of bringing both sides together to an agreement."

Existence: "They have been at each other throats for centuries now, and before we thought their sibling rivalry would end in blood, however, now we have hope for a better future for them."

Cross: "...So, long story short, you decided to throw your responsibilities at me."

Existence: "....I mean-"

Destruction: "Listen we tried everything we could, you're their bride now-"

Cross: "I know that you're more used to that term but I think 'fiance' would be make me feel less like my father offered me up to some princes."

Existence: ...

Destruction:...

Cross:...

Existence: *bursts out cackling* "Oh Void That Encompasses Us All, he's perfect."

Time Kid & Chronicle who are there to record any dealings that are made: *awed*

After the Meeting

Nightmare: TK told me how the meeting went, you cutted off Destruction and talked back to him.

Cross: ...

Dream: Oh it's good to have bravery!

Nightmare: You. Talked. Back. To. Destruction.

Cross: ......... *sits down to contemplate how stupid he just was*

Dream: Aww! Don't worry-

Nightmare: Yes reflect on your stupidity.

Dream: Brother! Stop that!

\------------------------------------

Another meeting after Cross, Dream and Nightmare all get married, year later after marriage, with Cross tucking in two baby twins, Hope and Incubux.

Existence: Oh my sweet lil sort of grandchildren~

Cross: Yep.

Existence: *cooes at their cuteness for a little longer before heading out with Cross*

Cross: Okay, so let's cut to the chase. You made it so that Nightmare and Dream would end up marking me.

Existence: How did you know?

Cross: I feel like punching you in the face.

Existence: You have that in common with my husband and several others!

\-------------------

Lust is another mortal but has the power to see the threads of love and often makes it his job to help out with the affairs between mortal and supernatural as it often gets complicated.

At first it's just Dream going to him for advice regarding a certain mortal and his brother, before Lust goes to meet with Cross himself.

"Oh wow that's a lot more complicated than my usual jobs."

(Also ayyyy)

—————————————

Memory Sans also plays a big role in the FaeCorp as the keeper of memories. He remembers everything. That’s his job.

Works with Time Kid and Chronicle a lot when it comes to pin pointing certain timelines and dates.

\---------------------------------------

BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount:

Cross is slightly scared of Destruction. Destruction is just impressed that he had the gall. Cross is invited to Destruction's knitting/wife club meeting. entire time cross is on egg shells and Destruction is just being casual and making small talk. Down side of the mortal morals, Dream, Cross, and Nightmare all think Destruction is angry and miffed. Nope Destruction liked that cross knows how to get he point across, keep the twins in line.

\---------------------------------------

writingforFUNandbecauseBoredom:

Destruction could tell him about how including him and Existence, no one in the FaeCorp has the ability to lie, but he likes watching the other squirm a bit. Cross ends up learning this himself.

Time Kid: Don't worry don't worry~ You would have been dust by now if our King was actually offended. Or would have lost body parts permanently. Latter most likely considering he wouldn't mess with the natural order. So you're fine~

I think the way Cross would accidentally get marked would be when the twins were both developing a crush on him, and when he grabbed both of their hands to get them away from something he considers dangerous they found it endearing enough they marked him at the same time on accident. Also Cross's poly gay ass was also hard core crushing on them both and he was going to silently gay panic as he always does when it comes to his crushes.

How they got to know each other... They were visiting XChara and XFrisk when Cross was visiting his dads during a summer break away from the dorms. Then XFrisk asked Cross to show them around town while he and his husband talked with each other. Cross knows they're wizards, but is specifically kept out of the details of what they do, who they know etc. So he doesn't know Dream and Nightmare are big shots in the FaeCorp.

\--------------------

Nightmare and Dream are extremely possessive of Cross and gets easily jealous at times. Surprisingly, they manage with sharing him between them, but when someone else has a crush on him, knowing or not, they start to show their possessive side.

Like, if someone is flirting with him jokingly they don't care because they can sense that it's not serious.

But if someone looks at him longingly, Nightmare would give them night terrors whenever they sleep, Dream would immediately bite Cross's throat to mark him right in front of the one crushing on him.

Cross: What was that for?!

Dream: Nothing~

Cross doesn't catch on until a month spending time with both of them in public.

—————————

G’night

\---------------------------------------

BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount:

Cross: *sprays dream with squirt bottle* i am not a chew toy, don't bite me when we have guests.  
Dream: but they were looking at you!  
Cross: kinda the point of having guests.

\---------------------------------------

writingforFUNandbecauseBoredom:

Dream: But they had a crush on you!

Nightmare: Some were not innocent.

————————————

There were a lot of things Cross didn’t have control over. His own marriage to two fae beings for once. Admittedly hot fae beings. But that’s besides the point.

Cross also didn’t have control over what he dreamed of.

Neither Dream nor Nightmare control what he dreams of either.

But they supervised all dreams and nightmares and that included his.

“Can you not?” Cross said from where he was pinned down by a flustered Dream.

“B-but I want to-“

Cross was flushed with his own purple magic as it was. Now it felt like his entire face was burning with it.

Dream’s pupils looked blown wide.

Suddenly he felt the air shift, and there was the familiar cyan eyes of Nightmare watching him, a sneer on his face, claws digging into the couch as if to hold himself back, pupils blown as equally wide as Dream’s is.

“So, fiance, you had interesting thoughts for a while now about my secondary limbs.”

Cross wished to take the flashing images that just went through his mind and throw them out the window because he could taste how much hornier they just got.

Dealing with horny eldritch was not something he had control over he supposed.

\---------------------------------------

BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount:

Dream (drapes over cross's chair); you know, love..... We CAN make all your dreams come true......  
NM ( slides close): Reality is so much more fun that just a dream or nightmare. touch is so. much. MORE.  
Cross (eye lights blown and frozen in place): HOLY SHIT AJASDLSKJDNLSADJN *proceeds to gay panic and have THOUGHTS*  
Dream (smirks): Oh? and what could you be thinking with all that..... positivity? hmm?  
Nightmare (oozes his way to be in front of cross): yes, what ever could he be thinking?  
Cross (ABORT ABORT, MAYDAY MAYDAY): I AM NOT PREY STOP LOOKING LIKE YOU WANT TO EAT ME.  
Dream & Nightmare: Ooooooh, there's an idea.  
Cross: SHIT, *starts running*

Destruction totally watches his 'employees' have office drama. this season promises to be good.

Symbiosis (Fresh, parasites are a form of symbiosis) is that weird guy who is in charge of auditing and HR.... doesn't mean he is good at it tho. He is in charge of relations and trying to have people not kill each other, he works under Destruction in internal affairs, he set up the mortals different relation plans and handed the plans over to Existence who decided to 'improve on them'

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writingforFUNandbecauseBoredom:

SNFLAENGEJGLJGJGRJGJRGRKGJKSDFJBKLDJLHJ;WJS;JRW yell heah

The Fae don't have that much understanding of privacy. If you're not locking the door, putting several privacy wards, obviously you're asking someone to know all your secrets.

Dream and Nightmare, of course, put seals that doesn't let other fae in and only lets them into the Cross's single apartment(which he decided to get after discovering that fae are a thing and that he is now going the fiance of two of them).

Cross does get wrecked by both of them at some point and he ends up going into subspace because of how thoroughly he gets dominated. Nightmare and Dream would both be good doms i'd say.

Just Cross spacily purring as Dream and Nightmare give him proper aftercare.

Weirdly enough Fresh's method of keeping order works out. 'everything is always in a state of chaos, right now it's the most orderely chaos it can get brahs'.

\---------------------------------------

BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount:

its the fae, u gotta have da sexy times. and da pleasure times. Symbiosis is also known as Chaos when he needs to vent out all the frustrations he has basically 'eaten' or 'absorbed'.  
"Bruh, dis is da best this homeslice can do for all dees broskis! and i know for a fact da bros can do so much more un rad things. mah destruction bro totally went insane trying tah do this job along his other ones! So i told mah brotato i'd handle it with him! Dis is a WILD time yo!"  
Cross just stares at the eyesore. " i think i feel really bad for all that Destruction has to put up with."

\---------------------------------------

writingforFUNandbecauseBoredom:

Destruction: Finally someone gets what i have to deal with. Do you know how hard it is to run the entire damn universe? Not only that, Ink keeps adding new PLANETS, as if Earth isn't hard enough as it is to keep it functioning, and mortals do NOT make it any easier because Ink had the bright idea to give them freewill and the sentience to make choices. Uh, no offense to your mortal friends.

Cross: No worries, they might feel proud instead.

Destruction: *sympathetically pats his shoulder*

\---------------------------------------

BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount:

Cross: hey, Destruction? You need to get out for lunch. C'mon, my mortal buddies would love to meet you.  
\-----  
Des: You want to know why Australia is so deadly? I had to contain Existence's want for deadly creatures all over the world. Do you know how much he wanted to turn this place into an entire battle for all life? Something about really cool battles to the death. I have to let go when he decides to make new lifeless planets. WHO NEEDS A PLANET THAT RAINS GLASS?!?!  
Blue: Woah thats rough!  
Des: I know! i would never be able to crochet in such a planet!  
Blue: uh.... yeah. thats one problem with that. *passes a drink to Destruction* here man, you need it.

\---------------------------------------

writingforFUNandbecauseBoredom:

KACNOkndlnNDNSVNSDNVNLNVDALscmnandlvne

Cross at this point is like, Fae whisperer. He knows how to not get on a Fae's bad side and he sort of gets where they're coming from, not because he relates, because he figures that 'Hey, they're immortal beings, they're above a lot of stuff and have different sort of life going on, so yeah, i'm not questioning.'

Des likes Blue.

Also Existence and Destruction and Life had experimented with other planets first before getting to Earth. It's how the solar system came to be in this universe along with many other stars.

Also Destruction can't exactly complain about Existence's chaotic behavior because:

At The Very Beginning:

Baby Existence: Hey Des? I'm so bored. I just, make these things, and you destroy them, and they don't even move.

Baby Destruction: How about they move and make choices on their own then?

Bby Exist: *le gasp in excitement*

Bby Des: (I get the feeling I will regret this)

And so Life came to be... through a lot of trial and error.(ha ha get it?)

Death came to be after they had decided that mortals should move onto that other level of existence where the GodTale beings exist in instead of getting completely wiped out of existence at some point whenever they get bored of it.

When Death and Life interacted with each other for the first time viruses came to be(half dead half alive) .

\------------

Destruction: the worst part of all this is that i'm partially at fault for this whole... universe idea.

\---------------------------------------

BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount:

Baby Des: i feel bad for our toys only having what we decide for them and how so many suffer then just disappear...... LIFE imma make a guy to take the toys that end to a place to reward them for playing with Existence. He is either gonna be your boyfriend or your worst rival.  
Life: What? well you should be very picky how he looks, you hardly ever get a new assistant.  
\---  
Des is very vain... thats why all of his lessers are skelies but none have his beautiful coloration.

\---------------------------------------

writingforFUNandbecauseBoredom:

well true, but Des also makes sure they are organized, and makes sure they look their part. Reaper takes his job seriously, and can professionally lead a conversation while looking 'smart'. Des likes it when his lessers are appreciated.

Also love the idea of Des being the kind one.

Well, 'kind', more like 'fair'.

Okay so basically the only time Existence ever got mad at another existing being was when XGaster decided to be That Bitch. He personally went and physically and painfully ripped away all of XGaster’s powers and chucked him into the Abyss where he shall stay trapped.

XChara and XFrisk’s influence over the court was lessened, and as the first two human wizards they were banished in a sense to live in a cottage for being forced to take part in XGaster’s crimes. This is 18 years before the actual plot of story, when Cross is just a baby.

Basically XGaster didn’t just threaten Existence’s posiion as Queen, but also threatened Destruction’s position as King.

When Cross awakens his Fae side, he and Existence end up having a ‘chat’.

It’s mostly Existence low-key threatening Cross, telling him he better not start shit like his previous father had. Destruction is there as well, and for the first time is actually intimidating.

\---------------------------------------

BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount:

des (sat like giving the talk): cross, kid, now that you have grow into your powers..... don't be a fuck up. you know how much i work. i do not like having to clean up after your father. Do not take after him. make your life how you want but do not push me. i am the nice one here. Existence can be cruel and uncaring, usually doing what he wants. i can be mercy, keyword can.  
Cross (sweatdrop): um, i dunno how to do anything.  
Existence (one arm hug): hehe you got your choice of teachers! for now until we know what use specialize in, you get to have classes with everyone! Just remember not to steal from me and i won't make you and your friends have eternal Hell!!!  
Cross: ah okay.... um i won't.

\---------------------------------------

writingforFUNandbecauseBoredom:

Of course, it doesn’t help that XGaster is trying to break out of the Abyss and attempting to possess Cross.

Cross sometimes gets nightmares where XGaster attempts to choke him. Or basically try to switch places with him by pushing him down into the abyss.

Nightmare and Dream become highkey protective of him when these nightmares start, placing several barriers on his mind to prevent others from entering.

While XGaster fails to replace himself with Cross, he does momentarily possess half of Cross’s soul.

Destruction and Existence interfere of course, not harming Cross who at this point isolated himself somewhere in fear of what XGaster might make him do. With the help of both Nightmare and Dream they manage to banish XGaster from Cross’s mind, but as a result XGaster breaks free.

Both Des and Exist make Dream, Nightmare and Cross leave towards the mortal realm so they could personally deal with XGaster.

Cross goes into momentary coma, more than a bit traumatized by how XGaster tried to possess him.

\---------------------------------------

BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount:

this is great. i love this. Existence and Destruction just are such a old couple.  
Ex: its that DAMN XGaster again. this is MY house and i won't be disrespected in MY OWN DAMN HOUSE.  
Des: Yes, Des we get it. lets go get your little ego match out of the way.....  
Ex: I swear he is going to pay for trying to take MY stuff. the prick trying to get own my lawn.  
Des: uh huh, lets just beat him quickly, my knitting club meets in a few hours. And i bet cross is going to have quite the drama once this is over.  
Ex: is that all you care about? Knitting and drama?  
Des: nope, it is how i stay sane?  
Ex: awwwwwww, but i love it when you're insane!  
Des: Hurry up or your sleeping on the couch!

\---------------------------------------

writingforFUNandbecauseBoredom:

Cross: Nightmare I'm fine now-

Nightmare: did you actually forget i can sense when you're not fine???

Cross: I-I know but-

Nightmare: You don't have to do anything. Just. *picks tired Cross up bridal style* Just let us take care of you... ok?

Cross: *gives up* ...okay.

\--------------

Dream: You know... when X was possessing you, you didn't come to us for help.

Cross: *nearly drops the book he is holding in surprise*

Dream: I-I won't take it personally but...I want to know, if you do not trust us...

Cross: Dream, no I-I do trust you, both of you- *glances at Nightmare momentarily before turning his attention back to Dream* I just... he kept talking about hurting both of you and- *breath hitches and nearly cries* I couldn't-

Dream: *immediately hugs him frantically* No! It's okay! I'm sorry I ever doubted you!

Nightmare: *casually* look what you did brother, you made him cry.

Dream: I didn't mean to! *panicking*

Cross: *laughs wetly, very glad to be here*

\------------------------

It takes a lot of time but eventually Cross starts to use his power again, mostly to help out Nightmare and Dream with their jobs. He mostly does the paperwork part of things but occasionally a mortal will try to mess around with his husbands magic so he goes and talks with that mortal, either to get them to stop doing that, or to do it in a manner that doesn't disbalance or prove to be harmful in anyway in the present or future.

He also occasionally helps Nightmare and Dream when it comes to beings that end up manifesting from mortals, as their belief is strong enough to make something like that happen.

\---------------------------------------

BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount:

Des (clutching the popcorn bowl): Ex, EX!!! Did you see that! look at dream get so sad that he thought cross didn't trust him. AND nightmare just pulled out the moves on Cross. *munch* oooooh, i bet dream is going to get comforted by Cross and Nightmare gets jealous.  
Ex (bored on their couch, dramatically laying his head on Destruction's lap): out of everything i have made..... this is what you watch. Can we go and make a planet or something? or draw up some new plans for new species?  
Des (pouting): No it was my turn to pick what we do tonight for entertainment. i want to watch my dramas on the couch.  
Ex(so dramatic!): Dessie~. i wanna play tho! I love playing with you!  
Des(irritated): Ex let me watch my dramas and then we can see. please. pass me the chocolate.  
Ex (being a brat): Only if you let me feed it to you.  
Des (gruddingly pleased): Ok i guess. Now quiet, this house hasn't been this peaceful since PJ practically married his yacht.

\---------------------------------------

writingforFUNandbecauseBoredom:

Vzhzxbsbxnxbxnxndb Cross does interact with PJ once. It goes like this.

Cross: So... why do you live here?

PJ: Meh, it’s quite, occasionally Omni visits, and also I don’t have much purpose much like my other siblings in the fae court. When this entire universe finally meets its ultimate end, we will probably have to deal with creating the aftermath.

Cross: Oh...

PJ: Plus, my existence is sort of a threat to the balance of all things? But I’m not interested in all that stuff. I just like having a peaceful life here... occasionally giving the local mortals weird advice.

Cross: Oh I see.

PJ: Yep, that’s the summary of it all.

Some of the area 51 aliens are things Des and Ex came up with and they decided they both decided they were too interesting/amusing to NOT keep.

\---------------------------------------

BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount:

Des: yeah Ex made this real funny creature that mirrors the looks of any living things and just goes MURP! it was so fucking funny when it mimicked Life and Nightmare. we sometimes go grab it from Closet 51 for pranks.  
Ex: oh you remember that weird cat thing that i got to speak in every language? it is in closet 51 too.  
Cross: Closet 51?  
Des: yeah it is in a desert in the..... north america? i don't remember what they call that landmass these days.  
Cross:..... Holy shit, area 51... THATS YOUR CLOSET?!?! THATS WHAT THE US GOVERNMENT IS HIDING?  
Ex: what now?  
Des: Ex! i told you to hide the closet better! now it has mortals in it!!!!

\---------------------------------------

writingforFUNandbecauseBoredom:

Epic: Can we meet dem aliens now

Ex: is that the only reason you came all the way here?

Epic: Yes.

Des: That’s so stupidly brilliant i am lost for words.

——————

Cross: *gets called over to the Fae realm* Epic what the fuck?

Epic: *is holding cat that speaks in multiple language with happy tears on his face* Cross I Finally Got To Meet Dem Aliens

Ex: Your mortal friends are so funny and weird Cross. They’re even more chaotic than Fresh sometimes, and that’s saying something.

\---------------------------------------

BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount:

Ex: I am so glad Dessie had the idea to make moving things with free will!!!!  
Cross: what?  
Epic: Yo I am a moving thing with free will.  
Cross: Wait are you saying Destruction is the one who inspired you to make mortals.  
Ex: YEP! And the fun i have had since! Poor dessie has been real busy since i did make life though. i really should appreciate him more.... Maybe we should have another KID!!!!  
Cross: oh god i DO NOT want to know about the ultimate powers in the world's bedroom activities.  
Epic: DUDE, Bruh...... i forgot to naruto run at Closet 51.

\---------------------------------------

writingforFUNandbecauseBoredom:

Killer: I mean, you give something with a free will, and then you basically throw them into this world of organized chaos, so naturally we're going to adapt in the weirdest ways because as far as I know there was no instruction left for us.

Des: Except for those holy books. Would make my job easier if everyone actually followed them and didn't mess with the natural order of things.

Ex: But that would be so boring~ It's so fun to watch how mortals kick themselves over right into hell's arms~

Killer: Holy shit. *turns to Cross* Ho-Ly sHIT *gestures frantically* so heaven and hell are an actual thing???

Des: Yeaaaah the afterlife is where y'all usually go, and that part is out of our jurisdiction. Void knows how the deities are doing over there right now... last time I checked Life was taking it slow with the King of that realm before she decided to settle on Death.

Killer: Cross you had the answers to the universe right here

\-----------------------

Horror Killer and Dust end up being Nightmare's minions.

Cross is absolutely done with their bullshit.

\---------------------------------------

BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount:

NM: *walks into Cross's game night distracted* Hey babe? you think Destruction or Existence would let me have some minions to spread chaos and despair? *stops when he sees the mortals*  
Cross: Night, you don't nee-  
Killer: i'll be your minion you fae hentai wet dream.  
Cross: dude thats my fiance  
Dust: i think i solved my unemployment problems.  
Horror: i scare people with my mere presence.  
Cross: GUYS NO, Destruction is gonna kill me if he learns that he has to deal with more employees.  
Nightmare: you guys need healthcare right? and like dental? that's a thing for people now right?  
Dust: YES, that is completely true. 100%  
Cross: NO, NO Nightmare you have to get Destruction's approval and talk to Fresh about payroll and openings.  
Horror: i could carry a bloody axe and stare really hard at people  
Killer: this is amazing, Cross, like i am so glad your mom fucked your criminal fae dad.  
Cross: why the fuck are we friends.

\---------------------------------------

writingforFUNandbecauseBoredom:

Dust: Because you were too much of a mom friend to let us wallow in our self misery.

((I swear your dialogues are so great i am stealing all of them))

Cross was the mom friend throughout their entire childhood. Cross met Epic, Killer, Dust and Horror while going to the nearby elementary school. He was quite the loner, but then somehow became friends with Killer Dust and Horror. All three of them had a shitty home life. He became friends with Epic a bit later because Epic was closed off and was only friends with his brother.

Then Cross became friends with Epic as well because they ended up going through weird shit together. Epic is the first one that realizes Cross is weird, but not just normal weird, magical weird.

KillerLust is a thing in this au because they're both flirty bastards with good intentions.

\---------------------------------------

BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount:

Des: Nightmare...... i know you were raised by mortals and all..... but WHY are 3 mortals in my office in the fae realms? You better not be trying to collect mortals. that is NOT an approved hobby.  
Nightmare: i want them as my minions so i can sell the evil villain look...  
Des: ...... there's a 'and' isn't there?  
Nightmare: i want to pay them and have health and dental.  
Des: ...that position doesn't even exist.  
Nightmare: can we ask Existence tho.  
Killer: ..... did you just try to use the 'can we ask dad?' on one of the powers that govern our universe.  
Des: Night! you have been on thin ice with your little spat with dream in the last centuries, you haven't been that well behaved to get any toys. You know that i am very busy keeping Existence from killing off all the mortal life with some of his ideas.  
Dust: this is honestly the best thing i have ever come across. like this is great. i have met the mom of the universe. and he is treating the embodiment of negativity like a kid wanting a pet.  
Night: Destruction, please? i promise to be really productive and they can help cross with paperwork and the small tasks.  
Des: you know that dream is going to want some too. unless you share with him. One, you need to speak to Fresh about budget and payroll. Two, you need to come back with a decent proposal. and three, i need to talk with Existence about having mortals and IF you deserve to have them.

\---------------------------------------

writingforFUNandbecauseBoredom:

Existence approves because he knows this will be fun to watch.

Cross has to now deal with keeping Killer, Dust and Horror in line. He has never been so angry in his entire life. He doesn't let Dream and Nightmare touch him for an entire week before he ends up caving into their puppy dog eyes.

Cross: Killer, I will wring your fucking neck if you do not organize your load of paperwork.

Killer: *is genuinely scared for his life*

Cross can be scary tho when he's mad.

\---------------------------------------

BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount:

Destruction: Nightmare. Even though Existence thinks this will be a great laugh, it most definitely will mess with my dramas. therefore i am giving Cross the power to fire them if things get out of hand. yes i do think a 19 year old halfling is more responsible than you right now. Now what currency do they take?  
Nightmare:..... the paper one?  
Des: i am gonna pretend that was a joke and you are going to give fresh a list of their addresses and information. He should know what you need to get.

\---  
Des ends up liking them personally. Des ALSO gets almost daily complaints about the mortal minions of negativity.....which is kinda what they are supposed to do but Des REALLY wishes they would torment mortals instead of the other fae to get the quota done so Des and fresh don't have to deal with it.

\---------------------------------------

writingforFUNandbecauseBoredom:

turns out Nightmare was joking because he and Dream literally have the closest connection to mortals all around the world, and speak all the languages. Including Meme language. I strip away the boomer rights from the twins and give them to Existence, Destruction, Abyss, Life and Reaper.

Time Kid, Chronicle and Memory know all the memes.

Core Frisk is the immortal oracle around the Universe.

Geno was the one regular immortal that was extremely determined to not die and was spiteful enough that Death couldn't kill him.

\---------------------------------------

BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount:

\---250 years before cross---  
Destruction: Death, are you telling me this mortal just basically told you "no fuck you" .... and you listened.  
Death: that is skipping a lot of what happened but yes, in a nutshell.  
Geno: i will fight u to the end of existence ya floaty bastard.  
Destruction: well, i don't think Existence is dying any time soon.  
Geno: i die when i say i die.  
Destruction: ..... huh.... free will is quite interesting.  
Death: i am really trying to do my job for once. and he is just being inconsiderate really.  
Geno: *throws up blood*  
Destruction: well he is no more annoying than Ex right now and this is quite intertaining... *whispers 'i ship it'* Ok well for now Death i think you can house and show him around since you are the one supposed to reap him. send reaper the invoice for this, i have the feeling Existence ignored the guidelines on mortal life limits again.

\---------------------------------------

writingforFUNandbecauseBoredom:

davnladnvlknvsdijvlkadv yesssssss

Destruction and Existence are both the ultimate shippers of the Universe.

Now, Geno still lives around Reaper's house, and sometimes goes out occasionally to the mortal realm to get some new recipes and materials because Death has discovered he has taste buds through Geno's cooking. Life does as well.

Life: how can the death of plants taste so good??????

Geno has a lot of good advices when it comes to being in a poly with two eldritch beings. He isn't fae at all.

Killer: So you basically said 'I die when I say I die' to Death himself.

Geno: Yep.

Killer: Cross. You know so many cool people.

\---------------------------------------

BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount:

Killer is a fanboy. Cross just deals with it

\---------------------------------------

writingforFUNandbecauseBoredom:

uwu this is what he signed up for when he decided he couldn't bare leaving Killer, Horror and Dust to die without him there to keep their shit together. uwu

Cross does get done with them a lot, but would also fret over them if something awful happened to them. The one thing that would 80% get him to fire any of them would be if they got harmed. 20% is for when they convince him they're fine.

\---------------------------------------

BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount:

Killer: so you two are the reason for everything?  
Des: yup  
Ex: isn't it cool?  
Killer: so wanna hear some of my ideas.  
Ex: Ooooooh, ok i am listening  
Des: No please don't give him ideas, please if you have to, get the forms from fresh, i cannot handle ANOTHER spree of unfiltered creation.  
Killer: there's a form for my bat shit crazy ideas? i hope you guys have a printer, i am going to need so many copies.  
Cross: KILLER YOU SAID YOU WOULD BEHAVE.  
Killer: that was before i learned i could ask commission from the literal guy who makes everything. this is me living in heaven. Cross don't you kill my dreams, just keep yours around. He is not gonna believe the joy when i tell horror, dust, and blue that THERE IS A FORM TO ASK COMMISSION FROM THE UNIVERSE

\---------------------------------------

writingforFUNandbecauseBoredom:

djgnsklngwgowngw appropriate response honestly

Des: God. I miss those mortals that behaved... like that Jesus guy. And those prophets from those other religions. I sure miss them. At least there is Cross.

What does Killer commission tho?

chapter 15 up.

\---------------------------------------

BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount:

...... he wants to bring back the dinosaurs using birds.  
Mecha suits, just mecha suits  
Please make laser sharks, please  
like Magical Girls please and thank you.

\---------------------------------------

writingforFUNandbecauseBoredom:

jncnalnvsnvjwnvjnvwrvowinrreo Existence whines when Des debunks nearly all of those things.

Mecha suits are possible, they just have to tinker with the mortals brains a bit and probably make a new material come into existence. Laser sharks, hell no.

Killer is the reason why Emu birds are a thing.

Magical Girls??? The Monster-Human hybrids can be your damn magical girls. In like, one hundred years.

\---------------------------------------

BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount:

Destruction is that angry wife who has a dumbass husband who ALWAYS brings home another pile of junk claiming its gonna be so great once he gets to work on it. Killer is the one to sell the junk to Existence

Ex: Dessie! omg killer had the Best Idea  
Des: Ex. if it is one of killer's forms again i only want to deal with those on work hours. where i am forced to for sanity's sake  
Ex: Dessie~! this one is real fun though!!!  
Des: you said that last time.  
Ex: OKAY, just hear me out...... What if we lowered the gravity of earth? so everyone can superman jump?  
Des: i will burn any comics Killer gives you.  
Ex: Oh, Dust actually gave me them! Something about there not being a form to have physical objects inspire me?  
Des: i gotta call Cross and Nightmare to tell them to better control the mortals. And fresh to draw up new forms.

\---------------------------------------

writingforFUNandbecauseBoredom:

at some point Cross comes up with creative ways to stop Killer and his shenanigans.

After having better control over his magic he basically puts killer in this unbreakable dimensional glass box that hovers over mid air and that he created himself. Then, he proceeds to write 'Gay-Baby Jail' on paper and put it on there.

how many hours he stays there depends on how many extra hours of work he made Cross have.

\---------------------------------------

BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount:

Killer: Can i come out now? or have a magazine or something?  
Cross: no i am still doing paperwork.  
Killer: c'mon~ i wasn't that bad!...... i'd even take a stick at this point.  
*explosion in the distance*  
Dust: I AM OK BUT THE SAME CANNOT BE SAID OF THE LOBBY  
Cross:....... looks like you're getting company. and neither of you are leaving until my work is done.

\---------------------------------------

writingforFUNandbecauseBoredom:

Honestly, it’s boring enough that it actually gets them to stop being gremlins for a while whenever it happens. Then they start up again.

Cross at this point keeps like, a calendar of how many times Killer, Dust and Horror got put in a box so far.

Horror only had to be put in once.

Okay two times. But Killer and Dust, like, 10 times within the first two weeks on the job.

\---------------------------------------

BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount:

Cross puts up a behavior poster, for every day you DONT get put in the box you get a sticker, trade 30 stickers for a prize. Horror never tells Dust and Killer what his prizes have been. (Cross gets Dream and Nightmare to have a cook-off for horror to judge. Sinfully good fae-mortal mixed food man.) Dust and Killer sabotage each other too. meaning neither have gotten the Prize yet.

\---------------------------------------

writingforFUNandbecauseBoredom:

Damn. Dream and Nightmare becoming incredibly good at cooking.

Later, Horror is remembered as a good chef among the fae.

You know, they are mortals, Cross is technically immortal. And his gay wizard dads are immortal too...

Mortals die sometime.

or maybe:

Epic and Blue get hired by Dream too.

And then all five of them decide the idea of leaving their bud Cross is stupid.

\---------------------------------------

BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount:

Destruction: Cross..... you want us to make your mortal friends, immortal?  
Cross: i figured if geno could then they could.  
Destruction: Do they have the spite Geno naturally has? Because Geno just said fuck you to death and that was that.  
Cross: No, but they are good company. And interesting you have to admit.  
Destruction: File the damn form then, i ll tell Existence and get Life and Death over here. You are so lucky you are a good source of drama, you fluffy ass oreo.

\---------------------------------------

writingforFUNandbecauseBoredom:

fluffy ass oreo is the most affectionate nickname i have ever heard.

Anyways, I was thinking more like the five of them decide to go and make themselves immortal while trying to hide it from Cross.

Cross: Why do i get the feeling you guys are up to something stupid and dangerous?

\---------------------------------------

BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount:

Killer: do you think if i annoy death enough he would just leave me alone forever?  
Cross: why are you asking this?  
Killer: no reason.

\---------------------------------------

writingforFUNandbecauseBoredom:

Blue: Hey Cross? Do you know where Chronicle's library was again? We kind of want to check some stuff!

Cross: Ok?... Epic, I don't think you will find much meme culture when it comes to fae.

Epic: *casually* Who knows, maybe it's a secret secret society bruh

\---------------------------------------

BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount:

Blue learns they have to seduce the fae to be immortal.  
Killer: this is my moment, my time to shine. lemme set up the orgy.  
Blue: killer NO.  
Killer: Killer FUCK YES.  
Dust: ...... don't seduce Existence he is pretty much married.  
Horror: i mean.... not the worst thing we have done.  
\-----  
Des: Pffft! they didn't even fact check! omg this is the best drama yet.

\---------------------------------------

writingforFUNandbecauseBoredom:

Cross: Ok why is destruction laughing?

Epic: Why are you asking us?

Cross: Because whenever he laughs it usually means y'all ended up creating more work for me.

Lust: Awww come on Crossy, it's nothing that bad~

Cross: So you did do something!

Lust: Nothing that will cause work for YOUR department~

Cross:...Just. Be careful. I really don't want to know what happens when the Fae get annoyed enough to reach their breaking point. *is genuinely worried*

Killer: It's okay mom~ We're not doing anything dangerous~

\---------------------------------------

BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount:

Cue the mortals all walking in the next day personally dressed by lust.  
Killer : TIME TO GET LAID BOYS!  
Lust: TIME TO GET LAID!!!!  
Blue: this skirt is really tight and short guys  
Dust: at least you have a actual shirt blue, this thing barely covers half my ribs.  
Horror: Still not the worst i have ever worn.  
Epic: Bruh, i dunno how we are gonna keep Cross from finding out.  
*Cross walks in, stops, stares, and walks back out*  
Killer: THATS AS MUCH APPROVAL AS HE WILL EVER GIVE. FAN OUT AND FIND A FAE.

\---------------------------------------

writingforFUNandbecauseBoredom:

alfbafghpwi;bklbjdE

when they do get immortality Cross nearly attempts murder.

Cross: What the fuck guys?! I was??? So damn worried?!?!!???! YOU ALMOST DIED!!!!

Lust: But we didn't! In fact! The very opposite happened!

Blue: We went through a lot of trial and error.

Destruction: Amusing trials and errors.

Existence: It was hilarious that you didn't think to ask us first.

\---------------------------------------

BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount:

Des: Ex, EX. they tried seducing FRESH of all people. Death never looked so conflicted about touching a person before. touch them to have them stop, don't to not kill them, touch them cus he is a pervert, DON'T touch because he is a pervert. i could just SEE the gears jamming up in his head!  
Ex: Dessie~, did you enjoy that drama? *cuddles up* they literally just had to ask and i could give them immortality any time!  
Des: yeah, but i wanted to see just how far they'd go to stay and work for eternity.

\---------------------------------------

writingforFUNandbecauseBoredom:

Killer: Hey, admit it, you would have been alone without us.

Cross:... Ugh. Fine.

\---------------------------------------

BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount:

upgrade from coffee boi to secretary. Destruction's dramas are getting spicy.

\---------------------------------------

writingforFUNandbecauseBoredom:

KDKDJDJSKSKSKDKDSKSKS

Cross at some point gets overworked and both Dream and Nightmare end up dragging him away back to bed.

Also, sometimes Dream would mess with mortals, and that would bring up Cross’s workload.

Whenever cross gets angry he gets distracted with a kiss. Then he’s just more tired than angry.

\---------------------------------------

BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount:

Cross: *is mad*  
Dream: *tries to kiss it better*  
Cross: No dream. you gave me 5 extra hours of work.  
NM: * is a smug bastard, slides in to rub it in Dreams face*  
Cross: Nightmare, NO. you encouraged him to do it.  
NM: *is a pouty bastard*

\---------------------------------------

writingforFUNandbecauseBoredom:

Cross is good at keeping the twins in line and it takes immense work load off of Des's shoulders.

Des: Something you created is actually making my job easier for once.

Ex: See? I can be good for you too sometimes~

When Cross gets stubborn about leaving his work both Nightmare and Dream immediately attack his neck and get him distracted enough that they get him into the bedroom for-

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

\---------------------------------------

BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount:

The Twin-Carnates of Sin.

\---------------------------------------

writingforFUNandbecauseBoredom:

Yes. uwu

XChara, through clenched teeth: Hello, it's nice to re-meet you as our sons husband.

Nightmare: Hello, your son calls me 'daddy' too.

Cross: *goes purple across the face and goes quiet in shock and mortification*

XChara: *nearly lunges at Nightmare and Dream from across the table* LEMME AT'EM

XFrisk: *is holding him back calmly* Chara calm down.

Dream: *has a happy smug expression*

\---------------------------------------

BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount:

Nightmare: *looks XChara in the eye* *spills glass of water on Dream*  
Dream: Night! wtf  
Nightmare: *still making eye contact* Oh look, its your son's wet Dream.  
\-----  
Destruction: Nightmare.... DO YOU KNOW THE PROBLEMS I NOW HAVE? YOU LED XCHARA ON A RAMPAGE AROUND MY OFFICE BUILDING. Why MY office buildling????

\---------------------------------------

writingforFUNandbecauseBoredom:

Cross: Nightmare if you could stop pissing my dad off that would be great. Dad. Stop. I'm 19.

XChara: nOOOooooOOooo *sobbing* i have lost my son to twin-carnates of sin...

XFrisk: *petting his shoulder consolingly while giving a thumbs up* he will get over it. We were just not prepared to see our boy grow up so fast. As long as you're treating him right I have no problems with this.

XFrisk: *still smiling pleasantly* If you cause any harm to him I will ensure Destruction has to reset the entire goddamn universe. Yes, I am willing to cease existing for this family.

Cross: pops please don't actually do that,,,,

\---------------------------------------

BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount:

Nightmare (is smug bastard): *stares cross dead in the eye* It is literally my job to piss your dad off.  
Cross (is very tired): Nightmare......  
Nightmare (smirking(: you don't want Destruction to be mad that i am not working right?  
Cross (is D O N E): Dream! your my new favorite for now.  
Nightmare (smugly smirking now): oooooh, that means i was the favorite before!  
Dream (very convincing devastated face): wait... Cross? you didn't like me as much as Nightmare?.......  
Cross (has snapped): NIGHTMARE! You are sleeping on the couch tonight while i fuck the stars out of Dream!!!! .................................................................................................................................................... Sorry dad.... i didn't mean for you to hear that *Xchara.exe is not working*  
Dream (stars in his sockets): Crossy!!! i am gonna hold that promise to you!

\---------------------------------------

writingforFUNandbecauseBoredom:

Cross doesn't top all that much but when he does he does keep to his promise.

Honestly i can't imagine Cross topping at all tbh boi gives off too much bottom energy to me.

Cross used to be easily flustered but now is too fondly done with both of them to be flustered anymore.

XFrisk: Oh my our son has quite grown~

Nightmare and Dream are very handsy & horny bastards and they respect CONSENT with all capitals but the moment it's given Cross gets absolutely wrecked and can't stand all that well the next morning. he ends up having to stay in bed.

Killer: *leaning with Lust* so tell us all about how Nightmare puts those tentacles to use

Cross: Nana.

Lust: wha-

Cross: Nana your business.

\---------------------------------------

BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount:

Nightmare: oh! he literally has dreams almost every night about just how i can treat him. Hentai has taught me much.  
Killer: Cross you damn lucky bastard

\---------------------------------------

writingforFUNandbecauseBoredom:

Cross: Nightmare. Stop giving Killer and Lust material to make out over.

Nightmare makes those dreams a reality more often than not.


End file.
